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I'm a big fan of Love.
But I've had my own personal problems deciphering it from other people.
Lately [after my own 'life' crisis a few months ago] I've come to better understand it.
I'm reminded of this from 'Gala Darling's' Latest post where she has some steps on improving your love life.
I used to be a HUGE anti-smoker person, regaling smokers to no end about the harm they are doing to themselves and myself, etc. etc. [ I think it stems from the fact I grew up with a father who was a smoker and who promised to quit many-a-times]
But I've come to realize that, that even though I don't like it for myself trying to change someone else is probably just going to make them bitter towards me in the end and have a strain on our relationship instead of a bonding experience, if they want to quit themselves I can be there for them and help them along the way and it can be a bonding experience in that manner better.
So I just realized I was making un-needed frustrations between myself and my previous lovers by having all these hang-ups about their lifestyle choices just because they are not ones that I necessarily choose for myself doesn't mean that it's wrong/right it just makes us different and most of the time the differences make things interesting and fun.
Plus I didn't fall in love with the habits I fell in love with the person and those things make up the person right, but so do the opening of doors and the lingering glances from across the room and the way they kiss your forehead and to dissect the person from the things that I like about them to what I don't particularly like about them would just be defeating the purpose of being with someone who isn't just a roboto pre-programmed to say all the right things and be into the exact same things you are into.
I'm not particularly into dating robots.
So it seems I'm re-learning love, in a more compassionate, kind way,[the way I used to hate it.. the couples that looked so quiet and serene in their love for one another where you are unsure if they still make love or not or if things have grown stagnant, I've realized those people have just come to a much more calm realization of how love can work, it doesn't have to be passionate holding hands, next to each other every second of life]. . Love for me before just used to be this explosion of words and bodies pressed up against one another. And as much as I still participate in both of them, I can look at in a more understanding view and assess the situation better and make a logical conclusion to it, such as with the ending of my most recent romance.
I understood that we were different and not in the ways that were going to necessarily compliment each other any longer, at least at this time in our lives. It ended in a ceremony of conversations talking about the good times we had, had during the duration of our relationship, and what we liked about each other and who we pictured the other person with now, closure and well-wishes towards the other person, instead of hatred and bitterness like most relationships lean towards @ the end.
I guess this is growing up.
You should check out Gala's Steps over @ her Blog [ www.galadarling.com ]
Maybe it can help you become more enlightened to how you treat your lover
